Over the weekend I went grocery shopping and in an effort to save money,
while still eating well, I decided to give powdered sauces a try. You
know what I'm talking about, you see them in the spice aisle usually and
while you know the can never live up to homemade they get by as "ok" or
"pretty good". Gravy for example, while most delicious when whipped up
on the stove from juices of your respective meats, is still quite good
out of the jar and passably delicious when a gravy "powder" is mixed
with water (stirring constantly until you bring to a boil).
So we know, gravy powder mix, not so terrible, right? Have you all ever
tried any of the other powder sauce mixers? I never had...until last
night.
I believe my first folly was going for a quick fix of an old family
recipe.
We take food very seriously in our family (Mom, you know what I'm
talking
about) and may even be considered "food snobs" when it comes to certain
dishes. Certain recipes have been passed down over time, and may
perhaps be considered "Secret Family Recipes". We love decadence.
Welsh Rarebit, Pot de Creme, Christmas Potatoes, etc. But out most
coveted dish of all time in our repertoire (at least in my opinion)
is...*drum roll please*
Hollandaise
Delicious, smooth, buttery, hollandaise sauce. Don't even get me
started about Hollandaise's sister companion, Bearnaise. If I go into
detail we might all go into a food coma without even having tasted the
stuff, but more likely we would end up at expensive French restaurants
demanding a medium rare herb encrusted roast with a side of red baby
potatoes and steamed asparagus. *Drool*
But I digress.....if you haven't been too distracted by the food
descriptions above, you may have an idea about where this story is
going.
I was in the market and saw the packaged Hollandaise. Knowing I'm on a
tight budget, but will be eating at home (alone) a lot I thought, why
don't I treat myself with a family favorite recipe in instant form. It
can't be all bad. The moment the cashier scanned the package, I knew it
was sacrilege, but I imagined telling my family this Christmas, while
sweating over the double broiler constantly whisking the egg yolk and
butter mixture (clockwise with a wooden spoon non-stop), about my
discovery that powdered Hollandaise wasn't all bad after all. Not that
we would dream of using the stuff at our Holiday meal, but maybe we
could incorporate it into more family dinners without all the work. I
would be the brave soul. The Lucy who wasn't afraid of trying new,
cheap ways to better expand my culinary horizons. I'd get a pat on the
back.
But I was so, so wrong.
The mixture (when added to water over a medium/low heat whisking
consistently while watching The Day After Tomorrow) thickened up quite
quickly and I was pretty impressed with the consistency. Making
Hollandaise from scratch is tricky and you never know when it might
curdle on you, but I could tell this mixture was going to keep up its
beautiful appearance until my salmon was done broiling and the brussel
sprouts were properly steamed. Just to be safe, I added a generous
pinch of kosher salt and several good shakes of lemon pepper...took a
minute to gaze at interchanging scenes of Jake Gyllenhaal and Randy
Quaid on the television....picked up a spoon and gave it a taste.
YUCK!
This stuff was gross. It was chalky and boring and just awful. Ok...it
needs more seasoning. More salt, more pepper, the juice of an entire
lemon.
Taste.
EW.
Disgusting.
I stared at the sauce for a few moments while several tornadoes hit Los
Angeles causing mass destruction and panic (I love disaster movies) and
wondered what I should do. Should I throw it out? Probably. It was
gross, no one was expecting it except me as part of the meal, and I knew
my salmon and sprouts could survive without it. But then again,
maybe...just maybe the salmon and brussel sprouts could enhance the
chalky yucky sauce.
Its possible right? I just need to add some more butter, salt, pepper
and lemon to everything and it will be ok. Right? Suddenly my healthy
dinner (minus the intended sauce) turned into a sodium/citrus-filled hot
mess. I loaded my plate with the nicely cooked salmon filet and a
healthy helping of brussel sprouts, added butter and lemon, held my
breath and spooned on minimal helping of the hollandaise.
You can imagine, it was terrible. What did it taste like? Salt and
lemon with odd textures that resembled the food I was eating. You know
what though......I ate it all anyway. I had just planned out my meals
for the week and I'd be damned if this disgraceful stuff was going to
ruin MY carefully thought out meal plan. I have a budget. I must stick
to the budget. I need my greens and my protein.
After my meal, I threw out the rest of the sauce (disgraceful that
product was put on the market....should I write to the FDA?). In
reality, the package only cost 89 cents so it's not like I was losing
out on much, but I felt like such an idiot for believing, if only
vaguely, that a package of powdered Hollandaise could even remotely
compare to the real thing. I'm still even wallowing this morning about
it, which is why I decided to write my experience down in hopes that
both you and I may never make this mistake (or in my case, make the
mistake AGAIN).
You know what the funny part is? I had three perfectly tasty Lean
Cuisines sitting in the freezer that I had not incorporated into my meal
plan that could have been eaten instead.
Oh well, live and learn.
